Right now, I’m not going to lie to you blogland, I’m feeling pretty grumpy and stress-y. To cut a long whinge into a slightly shorter one, I cancelled my phone network with Vodafone a few days ago on the grounds that I get crap phone signal at home. I used several coverage checkers, chatted to other people and in the end opted to go over to ee. Got shiny new phone today (after hours on the phone to various customer service departments, as they’d sent it to the wrong address) and excitedly set it all up, took out phone insurance, transferred all my numbers and got ready for the treat of being able to use my phone at home. Except for, when wandering around my house I discovered it is actually worse than on Vodafone. One bar of signal or no service, crackly, broken phone calls and a new 24 month contract I can’t really use. Cue more phone calls to customer service, more stomping around the house and the very likely possibility that I will be packing up my shiny new phone and sending it back.
I know that these are the sorts of things that other people shrug off. My ultra laid back brother would have just waited for the phone to be delivered today rather than getting stressed about the slightly incorrect address and the fact that it was scheduled to arrive after my office actually shut. I know some people would just shrug off the bad phone signal and accept that they’re going to have to just use their home phone all the time. But I have spent most of the afternoon like a tightly wound spring, wanting someone to come along and sort it all out – wanting someone to take it out of my hands and fix it all. It’s silly really – in the grand scheme of things it’s hardly even deserving of a whinge; there are far more serious things going on all around me (and happening to other people), and I ought to just put it in perspective. I just sometimes find myself asking, why can’t things just be simple? Why does nothing seem to ever go to plan?
I really dislike the aspect of my personality that means I’m a bit of a stress-head. I get anxious about things and worry about worst case scenarios, or wind myself up about things that might never happen.
My Mum recently sent me this poem when I was going through a patch of feeling a bit down, and worrying about the future.
“Some of your griefs you have cured,
And the sharpest you still have survived,
But what torments of grief you’ve endured
From evils that never arrived.”
It is so true and really made me realise that I must stop worrying about things that may never happen – or as Mark Twain puts it, “I’ve been through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.”
In order to find some peace and calm, instead of getting all angsty about things that have not worked out this week, I thought I’d make another list of things I have felt grateful for, or have made me happy (I’ve done a few ‘Happy Days‘ posts). I am currently trying out the 5:2 diet and am on a ‘fast day’ (a 500 calorie day) so I can’t have a glass of wine or slab of chocolate, so unfortunately I need to find another way of putting a smile on my face… (just joking!) (kinda!)
This week’s happy list….
001. Sunshine and warmth at the beginning of the week.
002. Pajamas, sofa time and takeaway pizza after a long day at work.
003. New playlists on Spotify that remind me of summer. (Jamestown Revival – Paradise is currently getting played on repeat, such a good tune).
004. Throwing open all of the windows in the house and letting fresh air in.
005. My new yoga mat, which, it turns out, is a million times better than the exercise mat I’ve been using (oops!) It’s so much less slippery, really comfy on my hands and feet, and bright blue! (For anyone interested it’s this one, £14.99)
006. Really really enjoying my book and wanting to scribble down so many lines in it to remember (it’s Thrive by Arianna Huffington, yep – still reading it!)
007. Having pancakes, cashew butter and strawberries for breakfast on Tuesday. The perfect start to the day.
008. Baking cinnamon roll Quest bars (bought from Protein Pic n Mix) and dipping them in natural yoghurt, for a guilt free snack.
009. Seeing my Mum looking absolutely beautiful when trying on a red dress I had given her that I no longer wear. Such a good feeling when you pass something on that you know they’re going to get real enjoyment out of (and look amazing in!)
010. This adorable video that my Mum’s friend showed me on Wednesday night. Basically the little girl was scared of the fireworks outside so her Dad decided to play his ukulele and sing with her. It’s a lovely song, interspersed with her stopping to listen to the fireworks!
What’s been making you smile this week?