My new year’s resolution this year was to be more present. By this I mean not only enjoying the moment and investing my energy and thought into where I am at that time, but also not letting my mind wander onto things that have happened in the past, or might happen in the future. I am a notorious worrier and my mind is often occupied by thinking about things I’ve said or done in the weeks, months or even years prior, or worrying about possible eventualities. I think ahead generally – I like plans and organisation and my Filofax is a neat chaos of highlighted categorisation (different colours for work appointments, social engagements, blog commitments and so on). I infuriate Tom by asking him if he might want to do something weeks in advance (often just as he’s falling asleep, when my mind is buzzing with plans and arrangements).
Despite this tendency to think, and plan, ahead, I had almost no ideas of what our wedding might look like when we got engaged. I didn’t think about what it might be like to be engaged, or what planning a wedding might involve. When Tom proposed on 16 October we were both over the moon and excited but for me, it felt surreal almost. Looking at venues and reading wedding magazines felt like research for a friend rather than something that was happening to me. When we talked about plans it almost felt a little silly – I wanted to giggle at the unrealness of it all – “We’re getting married!” Crazy.
It’s fair to say as well that neither of us knew/know the first thing about weddings. Which is to be expected I suppose since neither of us have ever been married before! (To give you an idea of just how clueless I am, I didn’t know up until a few months ago that you get a wedding ring too, I thought everyone just had their engagement ring). I have never dreamt of a white wedding or had any preconceptions of what my wedding might look like. So wedding planning has been a slow process, but also quite fun as we have no ‘done deals’ or ‘musts’ – only ideas for things we’d like to be involved in our special day.
Given that we both work in a maritime/coastal based job, met on a sailing boat and live by the sea, I think everyone assumed that we would have a nautical themed wedding (our house is largely nautical in décor too, so I guess this makes sense). We’ve decided though to just have lots of ideas, things we love and little touches throughout our day, rather than be tied to one theme. I like mismatched, rustic, higgledy piggledy, fun décor (that’s probably more a theme of our house actually) and I’m sure our wedding will be the same. I guess ‘rustic’ is a good word because, because of our budget there will be a lot of DIY touches and not all of the things you’d traditionally find at a wedding. (Although these days I think it’s difficult to have an original idea, and rustic, DIY weddings seem to be the rule rather than the exception!)
Of course one tradition I have upheld is creating a Pinterest board. Because I want to keep some details and ideas private, I’ve made a private board and given access to a few of the key people involved in wedding planning! It’s been so much fun seeing their ideas and finding wonderful, beautiful things that have been a part of other people’s weddings. There really is so much inspiration out there.
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We’ve got a savings plan together (as I write this I’ve just dropped my car off at the garage which is threatening to seriously thwart this month’s contribution) and had some generous contributions from both of our parents which is lovely and really given us a step towards making the things we’d love to happen, happen. We’ve worked out that we should be able to save enough by April 2015 and have a date in mind we’re just waiting to book with our chosen venue and the photographer. I am stunned by how wildly expensive everything is – we are going ‘budget’ on almost everything but it is still what I would deem as a fairly large figure, and I can’t see how we’ll be able to afford to have a honeymoon.
Despite the lack of real wedding planning going on, one of the first questions on my female friends’ lips at the moment seems to be ‘what do you think you’ll do for a hen do?’ My friends seem to be scattered all over the place at the moment so I love the idea of getting everyone together for a weekend away and a bit of relaxation and pampering! I am not (as you can imagine) into the idea of L Plates and dressing up! I am definitely not in the minority though as I read recently via a survey that Spabreaks did that over 50% of women like the idea of a relaxing hen party (only 9% fancy a wild weekend in Magaluf, which is lucky as that would not be my choice either!) I love the idea of getting a cottage somewhere like Bath and having a spa day as well as dinner and cocktails. What would your perfect hen party be?
I really should stop dreaming of cottages, log fires and cocktails though and get on with the actual wedding planning! We have 16 months though so I’m not panicking yet!