Anyway - so, whilst I say it's not unusual for me to set my alarm for 6am, this is actually a relatively new routine as I've been trying to fit some runs into my mornings before work. I have to leave for work around 7.45 so a 6.00 wake up call gives me time to pull my running gear on (a fatigued affair which usually involves a protracted search for one, if not both, of my running socks), get out of the door, jog around the block for half an hour and then get back, showered and changed and off to work. This morning however, I took one look at the screen, silenced the cacophony of jangly noises intended to wake me up, and went back to sleep. My reasons for doing so can broadly be summed up via the following;
1. Too cold
2. Too dark
3. Too tired
4. Too Monday
To backtrack a little - my reason for pushing fitness up the agenda is not only because of a general feeling of wanting to get healthier and slim down a little, but also because of two upcoming dates in the diary - one slightly more important than the other;
1. February 22nd (Brighton Half Marathon)
2. April 17th (Wedding)
Why I chose to train for a half-marathon and tone up to feel more confident in my wedding dress through the winter months, I don't know. Not besides anything else, I actually find it quite difficult to run when it's colder and have to take my little blue inhaler stashed in my pocket and wear a neck-scarf-thingemy that leaves me looking like I'm about to rob a bank (it's a strong look).
I sometimes wonder if I'm too hard on myself. In an already pretty full life, three gym sessions and a couple more runs per week feels like a lot. But then I also sometimes wonder if I'm just being lazy. There are plenty of people (I know so, I follow some of them on Strava or Nike Running) who do a lot more than that - who work 12 hour shifts and then stop off at the gym on the way home, who run 10+ miles at the weekend, or who go to the gym twice a day. Surely I should be able to summon up the energy for one, measly, 30 minute trot around the neighbourhood of a morning? There are 24 hours in a day, as they say (well, that's fairly well proven actually) - I have enough time to make fitness a priority (or even just bump it up the list).
But this attitude isn't doing any wonders for my least favourite constant companion (no, not my muffin top - well, that too) - GUILT. There's very few occasions when I'm not feeling guilty about something; usually something I've eaten, or a workout or opportunity for physical activity that I've dodged. And so December and January end up being a shame spiral of Christmas food overindulgence + not enough running/gym = feel sorry for myself + eat another Matchmaker. I just can't help it - the allure of the sofa and my duvet is too strong and I am too weak.
Which brings me back to those two milestones - do I drop out of the Brighton Half-Marathon on the grounds that fitting running into an already pretty chock-full schedule is going to be too much for my diary as well as my sensitive chest? And do I try and give myself a break and accept that if I'm not a slim and toned bride it's not the end of the world? Who knows, but in the meantime - pass me the Matchmakers....