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Change in 2014 and beyond

I have been feeling the winds of change all around me for some weeks now, so really it is just a coincidence (though I'm not sure I any longer believe there is such a thing) that I am writing this on January 2.  I feel like the universe has been laying breadcrumbs for me over the last few weeks, and I have been following them through the forest and finally started to stumble on some of the answers that are going to make my 2014 (and beyond) better.

When I think of the change that would have the most impact on my life, it's not my job (though there will be great change in that area in 2014), my house, my bank balance or anything I could buy or be given.  It's the goings-on inside my head, my attitudes towards myself and the habits I have developed that contibute negatively to my stress levels and my confidence and general contentment.

I am generally an anxious person and an interminable worrier.  I feel exposed and embarrassed admitting the depths of this as I haven't really told anyone before quite how out of control this has become.  As an example, if I see an ambulance and I'm in proximity to people I love (on the way to see a family member, coming home from work etc) I immediately start imagining the worst and refuse to believe anything else until I know they are okay.  My brain constantly torments me with awful thoughts (and images) about the future.  I frequently upset myself with thoughts of losing people I love.  If I walk into the house and I don't immediately hear Bodhi scratching at the door or trotting towards me, I run towards the kitchen to check he is okay.  I battle constantly with trying to, almost physically, push these thoughts out of my mind.


As well as my mind running away with the worry of future situations (and over-analysing things that have happened in the past), it is not very kind to me either.  Walking through a public place I imagine the things that people are thinking, or saying, about me - about my weight, my hair, my clothes.  Even looking in the mirror myself a hundred thoughts flash through my mind about my figure, the weight I've put on, what I look like without make-up, the lines, the wrinkles, the imperfections.  In short, my own mind has become my own worst enemy.
More than this, though, I have set expectations for myself that I cannot meet (my to-do list for the two days before we went away for Christmas had 28 things on it, most of which were blog posts that needed writing), I create for myself a state of constant busy-ness, I have weeks where I have barely a spare minute to myself and then I snipe at Tom because I'm deeply envious of the fact that he is able to spend most evenings relaxing and doing things for him.  I do not always have as much time for friends or family as I would like.  In order to meet the commitments of the endless things I have agreed to I find myself spending too much time on the computer when I should be spending time with Tom, cuddling Bodhi, reading, and doing things that will make my life happier and more fulfilled.

But, in line with my new 'resolution' - is that the right word, even, for a change that comes from within? - I am going to focus on the positives and try and limit how much I dwell on the way things have been in the past.  I want to tell you about the things that have spurred me into change, and talk about the hopeful future.


I have learned a lot through working in Learning and Development over the last year, and my research on leadership, values and authenticity have taken me on a journey that has made me more aware of the person that I am.  Inspired by a friend at work, almost daily I try and consider "Was I the best version of myself today?"

Along with this, my work in development has led me to wholeheartedly believe that "when the student is ready, the teacher will appear".  Little did I know that that was about to happen, when, some weeks ago I packed 'Eat, Pray, Love' (sent to me by Jess, to whom I am forever grateful) in my satchel, ready for a train journey to London. Elizabeth's story of her journey from depression and bewilderment to enlightenment and peace, really moved me.  I stepped off the train, brimming with inspiration, and ran straight into a monk who wanted to talk about meditation and yoga (this is probably about the time I stopped believing in coincidences).  Here is a quote from the book:


One night recently I awoke from a dream that I've been having variations of for the last year or so.  It involves a person who hasn't spoken to me for a couple of years, despite repeated efforts on my part at communication via various channels.  The bad blood between us upsets me and obviously represents itself in my dreams as I dream of reconciliation and awake disappointed.  On this particular night, in the early hours of the morning, I awoke with the same sinking feeling; feeling the weight of the situation bearing down on me.  I took a different approach and prayed.  Not to anything, or anyone in particular, but just a conscious, internal train of thought that said that I no longer wanted to think about the situation, and that I wanted to draw a line under it.  I wished for that person's happiness for the future, but I wanted to move on.  I fell asleep quite quickly afterwards and had an extremely vivid dream - I dreamt that I was waking that morning and that I walked to the beach to see droves of killer whales swimming in a bay.  I watched them for a while, and then brought Tom to see them.  They were jumping out of the water and swimming towards me and I just felt so peaceful, positive and calm.  (I have not had that original dream, or any thoughts about that person, since).

That feeling of peace and contentment stayed with me when I awoke, and I decided to search the internet for dreams about whales.  I read that, "to see a killer whale in your dream,  may represent purification and the healing process. You are standing up for yourself and putting a dramatic end to something.  To see a whale in your dream, represents your intuition and awareness. You are in tuned to your sense of spirituality."  I honestly felt on top of the world for some time afterwards, and I kept smiling to myself throughout the day, like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders.

Since then I have been pursuing this ideal of creating inner peace and focussing on the present moment rather than letting the past upset me and the future make me anxious.  I have started reading 'The Power of Now', which I'm reading in small bitesize chunks as it really is so mind-blowing that I need time to reflect on it.  A quote from the book:


I have also been pursuing meditation (through the awesome Headspace app), and another resolution is that I want to start yoga over the next few weeks (I have bought a yoga DVD but I'd like to go to a class).  I also want to make an effort to be curious and more alert to the messages from the universe, enjoying the journey, and the clues (as Elizabeth Gilbert says) and making more effort to record things in my new notebooks.


I just watched a video of the Dalai Lama's New Year's message for 2014.  He says: "Actually, whether the coming year becomes happy year or miserable year, depends on us. On the first day of the New Year, we should be more determined to be more sincere and compassionate human being. And try to create inner peace first within us and then share with other people to build a happy year."

I'm not sure I could think of a better message for myself for the coming year.  I have a lot of smaller changes I want to make (a healthier lifestyle, a stronger body, and so on - but I want to blog about them separately so as not to dilute the content of this post - also because it is long already!)

This has been quite a difficult post to write so I would love your thoughts on my resolutions and journey, and if you have been pursuing anything similar.  As always feel free to tweet or email, I'd love to chat.

Happy new year all,

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img credits: Free People blog, piccsy.com, the fresh exchange blog, others unknown - contact for removal or attribution.

45 comments

  1. Wishing you oodles of luck on your journey Rosie.
    I recognise a lot of myself in what you've so eloquently written above. For me it comes and goes in waves - I'm going to spend 2014 clinging onto that peacefulness whenever I stumble across it!
    The Power of Now was a great read for me and kept me on the straight and narrow for a while, really hope it does the same for you.
    M x

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  2. I too struggle with worry and anxiousness. I love eat, pray love and all sorts of teachings from various thinkers throughout history. I also loved reading the happiness project book which is also a blog online. When it comes to issues of the mind I think it takes a lot of effort but believing you want to make some changes is the first major step in a constant development of yourself. I hope it all works out for you :)
    Han
    hannahjanesays.blogspot.com

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  3. Rosie I LOVE this. I've been trying to live by similar values in the last year, and it has helped my well-being beyond belief. I got so fed up of situations getting me down, so rather than dwell on them, I made a resolution to let them go and be happy. Very simplistic, but it worked. I also love that Dalai Lama quote. If we could all live by that the world would be a very, very happy place.

    Happy new year :)

    Ellie | mantrapixie | x

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  4. Oh Rosie, this was wonderful to read. I can relate hugely- this is the sort of feeling I started getting really strongly last year, that I needed to step back and focus on my thoughts and my behaviour if I am to get what I want from life. I feel your pain with that anxiety- since my dad died I get these irrational bouts of panic over my loved ones, just like you describe. It is horrid. I really hope this year brings you the peace you are searching for, and I look forward to seeing your progress. If you find any amazing Yogis, fill me in? Happy New Year
    xxx

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  5. I loved this post and I wish you oodles and oddles of luck! I have bad anxiety too and am hoping to become a more calm, happier person this year :) Meditation is a great things to start, I can definitely attest that it has helped me deal with some inner demons. I think that I might pick up the book you mentioned! Much love, and if you ever wanna chat about anxiety etc just drop me a line :)
    xxx

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  6. Good luck with finding your inner peace. x


    http://vodkaandarose.blogspot.co.u.k

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  7. I really related to this post, Rosie. For years I have struggled with anxiety and it's only in the past year or two that I've started to get a handle on it. I found my own sort of meditation in sewing - it might sound silly, but I found that even when I was at my lowest, sitting down at my sewing machine and making something really helped. Having busy hands and the thrum of the machine in the background gave my mind a chance to rest and to stop whirring over the fears and anxieties that made it crowded. It made a big difference to my overall health and wellbeing. I'm not suggesting that you take up sewing, but meditation of any kind is bound to be really helpful because I think it forces you to stop, slow down and be kind to yourself. I hope that you find that contentment that you're looking for in 2014 xxx

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  8. What an amazing dream - that must have felt so surreal but reassuring at the same time. I'm definitely the same when it comes to time management and saying 'yes' to too many things. But then again I never want to look back and think, 'I wish I'd done this', or 'I wish I'd worked harder on this'. For me, spending time on my blog is one of many priorities. I never want to look back and think, 'I wish I'd taken my blog more seriously and spent more time on it' - but again I don't ever want to look back and think, 'I wish I had spent more time with my partner and cat'. I guess it's about balance. One of my resolutions is to spend less time online and use my spare time more constructively. I believe that there is a way of spending time on my full-time job, part-time freelance work, blog and with family and friends. It's just figuring out how!

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  9. I've been guilty of never leaving myself any time to relax which probably isn't good for me. I end up filling every spare minute. One of the people who work at my gym was asking me what I had planned for the weekend recently and said "I suppose you'll be busy doing things for other people as usual?" which sort of made me think. Maybe it's a good thing to relax, to meditate, to think about the things which would make you happy. Isn't that "emotional wellbeing", which people spend so much time searching for? It has to help to give yourself time to yourself. Factor in some time to your schedule where you will just relax, spend time with Tom and Bodhi and do the things which make you happy.
    I have to get better at this, as all I seem to feel is guilty about the things I feel I should be doing.
    I definitely think yoga is a good thing; I used to go to weekly yoga sessions and remember really enjoying it.

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  10. What a great post Rosie, one I can really relate too. When I did my AS levels, I studied Buddhism quite closely, and loved the values and understandings which came from the religion. I definitely recommend reading more in to it, just for inspiration. I hope 2014 is your year! x

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  11. Such an interesting post, Rosie. I don't suffer with anxiety but pretty much everyone I know seems to have an incredibly busy life and I do wonder occasionally why we do it to ourselves. If you like the hustle and bustle and never having a minute to relax, great, but I don't! I was reading back through last year's diary entries (so I could see how many books I'd read) and one really struck me - it was a Saturday and I described it as blissful solely because it was the first day at home I'd had with nothing to do for over 8 weeks. That's nuts, isn't it? And it's not that I dislike any of my other commitments but crikey, sometimes you just need a rest. No blogging, no chores, no having to please anyone else.

    It's also really noticeable with me that when I have no spare time, I have no reading time and when I can't read, I get more stressed. Suppose that's my equivalent of meditation.

    The one thing that really stood out from that post was about your blogging to-do list. Do you think you're putting too much pressure on yourself in that respect? It sounds more like a stressful work project than something that's meant to be a hobby! I was full of plans and lists before Christmas but there just wasn't time to do any of the blogging stuff and to be honest, I really don't think anyone minds if there are no new posts for a week or two.

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  12. Eat, Pray, Love affected me in just the same way Rosie - its the only finished book that I keep on my kindle because occasionally I just like to go back and re-read bits of it to feel inspired again. I'm not sure I'm at the point yet where I'm ready to accept that I believe in God or not, but I'm definitely going to try and treat myself better and try and be the best person I can be. I've started using some hypnotherapy apps on my iPad before I go to sleep which have really helped with my insomnia and bad dreams so I'd definitely recommend that if you haven't tried it already! <3

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  13. Such a wonderfully written post, I'm so impressed that you were able to be so articulate when writing about such important and big feelings. I'm 100% in agreement that our happiness has to start with us, so I really hope you manage to get to a point where you're happier and feel you're getting that balance right. I'm also considering yoga, so it'll be interesting to see how you find it too. Good luck with this new way of thinking.

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  14. A refreshingly honest post Rosie – as a person of faith i'd encourage you not to ignore that aspect of life... Your story is similar to so many others I hear – the stress of modern life and societal pressure to conform are so huge – I come back to these words spoken by Reinhold Niebuhr:

    God, give me grace to accept with serenity
    the things that cannot be changed,
    Courage to change the things
    which should be changed,
    and the Wisdom to distinguish
    the one from the other.
    Living one day at a time,
    Enjoying one moment at a time,
    Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace,
    Taking, as Jesus did,
    This sinful world as it is,
    Not as I would have it,
    Trusting that You will make all things right,
    If I surrender to Your will,
    So that I may be reasonably happy in this life,
    And supremely happy with You forever in the next.
    Amen.

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  15. Rosie, this post was amazing to read! I think I'm going through a similar transition, where I'm making myself more responsible for my own happiness, and trying to encourage myself to make the decisions that are right for me!
    I'm so pleased that you were inspired by Eat, Pray, Love. It was definitely a tool for me and has encouraged me to make changes! I even have that quote I sent you about happiness framed to remind me!

    I wish you the best of luck on your journey and look forward to seeing how it all pans out!

    Love, and lots of positive energy,

    Jess x

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    1. Oops! I used the wrong account for that comment!

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  16. What a wonderful blog post. I love that you laid all your insecurities down an then moved on to how you are dealing with them positively. Wonderful writing and very insightful.

    I have loved this book as it's a great way to deal with your mind....quietening the ever moving thoughts that are sometimes very unkind. I'm guessing you probably know all about this as you've been doing meditation.....but thought I'd link to it just in case anyone else would find it useful....I certainly did :)

    http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/074995308X/ref=cm_sw_r_tw_dp_.gyXsb0A98FFQl

    Glad to have read such an inspiring blog post today in particular.

    xxx

    Ally // Digital Diva
    http://www.digital-diva.co.uk

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  17. Hi Rosie,
    I relate to this post so much, I've got a lot better lately but it's still there. Have you considered some CBT type exercises? It changed my life and you don't have to see someone to do it. At work the GPs recommend a site called Mood Gym https://moodgym.anu.edu.au/welcome which has been a great help to many.

    xx

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  18. This post is exactly what I've been trying to articulate in my own head for weeks now, so thank you so much for posting it, it really means a lot to know other people feel the same as me.

    I've downloaded the app you mentioned so I'll be giving that a bash soon!

    Carly at Life from the Tub

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  19. I felt wonderfully content reading this post as it sums up where I seem to find myself at the moment too. The Power of Now sounds like a brilliant book which I will search for next time I'm in the library. In the mean time, I've been attempting simple breathing exercises such as 5 minutes of deep breathing before sleep each night as a way of calming anxiety. I wish you all the best in your little journey and look forward to looking up the books/app you mentioned xxx
    http://fillmylittleworld.blogspot.co.uk

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  20. I can relate with the flood of anxious thoughts, especially when I'm alone. I don't have a fear of being out on my own but I do wonder what others are thinking about me etc... I also find presenting very nerve wracking and said no to opportunities due to it bringing me into situations where I would have to talk to a board of people and so forth, I automatically think 'I can't do that' and you therefore just believe that. I've always been labelled 'the shy kid' even at work now I'm known as quiet, it does get to me as constantly being told this throughout my life has made me feel resentment towards myself, always wondering why I don't have the confidence my brothers have etc... I reached a goal today though of passing my driving test so I know I can do things when I put my mind to it. The anxious feeling you feel isn't you feeling scared but you developing/growing as a person. Look at that perpective. Worrying can ruin your mind and life. You're brave for telling us your true feelings, thank you.

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  21. I wish I knew you in real life. I have a very similar tough time with the things you have mentioned and often get frustrated that nobody around me "gets" it.

    I wish you lots of peace and happiness for 2014! x

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  22. I am a massive worrier too and suffer from anxiety. I'm constantly on edge and convinced that something bad is going to happen. I wish you the best of luck in conquering your demons and enjoying life more. You are already on the right path so well done for taking that step. I hope that one day I can too x

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  23. I hope 2014 and beyond is everything you hope and dream of and of course brings complete happiness. It always makes me kind of sad to read these kind of posts from such wonderful, loving and creative people who don't deserve anything but the best but I'm a firm believer that life is what you make of it and although I can be prone to worries or stresses about most aspects of my life too, as soon as it begins to get me down I remind myself that it just means I have to work harder or say yes to something new and just keep focused on all my goals.

    It feels like 2013 has definitely been the year of the most change for me and also a lot of my friends, not really in any physical way but mentally, we all seem to have suddenly hit that age where we're thinking a lot differently and are ready to take full control of out lives.

    If you ever want to talk to someone impartial I am always about :) xx

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  24. Dear Rosie, thank you for sharing this. I can't imagine how heavy all of this has been weighing on your mind. I have suffered with anxiety for large parts of my life which was always largely down to me wanting to be a people pleaser to people who didn't deserve it. I love that you can find solace and comfort in books, they tide us over the rough times and bring us some clarity when it's hard to see. I HIGHLY recommend The Art of Happiness by the Dalai Lama. It's brought me great comforts during my life. I also hope that yoga treats you well, it's a great way to get that inner balance. I miss doing it so you've inspired me to get back on that horse! I wish you all the best, it's a cliche but it's true: it gets better. It might just take a long time but it will
    xxx
    Nina from little nomad

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  25. What a wonderful post. The way you've chosen to live and change this year is truly inspiring. I read Eat, Pray Love about a year ago - it is such a special book. I also wrote a post about The Power of Now as it came up in discussion and although I haven't read it yet, it left me thinking about it for weeks afterwards. I hope you are happy this year, you deserve it, and it's a privilege to read such an honest blog post xxx

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  26. What a wonderful honest post. I commend you on your journey and hope you find that inner peace. I naturally live in the now so my 'depression/anxiety' is circumstantial. Unforntuatly my husband suffers from bouts long and angry depression and anxiety. He has a lot of trouble shaking the small stuff. He dwells so some small uncontrollable incident well ruin his whole day or even week. One something actually worth being angry about happens he has about the same reaction but feels verified that he has the right to be the way that he is. If that makes sense. Not sure how else to explain it. Does that or something similar happen to you? Over on Talk2thetrees blog she talked about how herbal medicines have helped her a lot with her depression and anxiety issues. I know my Husband wouldn't take a bunch so I tried to find one that would be most helpful. Soon some SAM-e will be arriving in the mail and hopefully that helps. Otherwise they say to try St. John Wart and Fish Oil pills, Omega 3's (especially if it's a season depression). I really hope this helps him so he (and I) can have some relief.

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  27. I am in the process of a similar attempt to change my outlook on my life etc. you didn't mention it although perhaps you've cove across it but I thought I'd mention mindfullness, research it! There are some amazing quotes they have really helped me, although I'm guessing perhaps that the book your reading is based on a similar concept :)

    it's nice to feel like we are in this together.

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  28. This was a really interesting post, thank you for sharing! I am a real worrier too but this year I have been much better at letting go of things. I still get stressed out but I have begun to realise that some things are beyond my control and that I need other people's help to get things done.

    I find scheduling in some time to just do whatever, go for a walk, have a bath, read some magazines or just do nothing is really helpful for me and it forces me to stop. It sounds like you have already made some really positive changes, here's hoping that 2014 brings many more!

    Maria xxx

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  29. Lovely post Rosie. I can relate to absolutely everything that you're saying, and felt a lot of comfort in reading your post because it is the same sort of 'inner peace' that I am searching for right now. Sending you all my love and hugs <3 and thank you for reminding me that we aren't alone in this xxx

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  30. This was such an inspirational post to read! Im so happy for you that you're changing your outlook on life/changing your thoughts and mind becausw you deserve to be happy - life is too short to be miserable! I am currently trying to change my own thoughts into positive and motivational ones so this has been amazing to read, thankyou lady :) <3
    fiveonecouture.blogspot.co.uk

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  31. Rosie. I am so proud of you. Writing and pouring our heart out on a blog is so hard, every time I do it I think should I...but honestly did this help? I find it so therapeutic, it is like a weight lifts from my shoulders. I have suffered with a number of things you have talked about here. It was so lovely to read and feel you aren't alone in these thoughts and life. When I watched Eat, Pray, Love I actually felt depressed. It made me re-evaluate my life and I joined the open university, I passed my course and it made me feel so much better. Ever since then I have tried to do positive thing after positive and my life has improved. For years I had such a strained relationship with my father, it haunted me. But I decided life would run it's course and now we have an amazing relationship. I feel we put too much pressure on ourselves. I was like you, working really hard, then worrying about my blog. Sitting for hours on the computer whilst Dey was chilling watching shows he thought I should see with him 'I've got to do this!' I could just see the disappointment on his face and something clicked in me. So now I put my relationship first, family, friends, work, blog. I may not blog as much as I used to, even though I am so passionate about it. But you make memories with your loved ones, that you then write about. I hope this year is all you wish for and know that you are never alone. Lots of love lady xxxxx

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  32. Being so honest is commendable Rosie, I can relate to a lot of what you are saying as I have the similar consistent run of anxious and worrying thoughts in my head. It is really draining more than anything and having that urge to change is probably the most important thing that you can do in order to change your way of thinking- when everything is a worry it is far too easy to just allow yourself to continue to stay in one place worrying consistently, your urge to change this year will be the most important tool that you have.
    Just remember that it may be difficult to post but it is incredibly brave and you have reminded me that it is never too late to change your ways of thinking. I wish you all the best with this xxxxx

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  33. I liked this post so much! It's the first one I've read on Your blog but I'll definitely be sticking around for more.
    I suffer from severe anxiety and I can completely understand to everything You've said. And it's nice to read posts where You can completely relate to. I will start reading The power of now, thanks a lot for the recommendation!
    Happy new year to You and good luck with everything! xx

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  34. Good luck on your journey Rosie and well done on speaking out about your anxiety.
    Thankfully I don't have it to the same extent as you but I am terrible for worrying about what people think of me and as a result I hate doing things on my own.
    xx

    Leanne - A Slice of My Life

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  35. This was pretty close to me really, and the first half could've been written by myself. I really don't think we're alone in feeling this way, and I reckon a bit of meditation and yoga would do the world of good - Theres an awesome hypnosis guy I used to listen to that I'd recommend, with an amazing scottish accent, but I can't remember his name for love nor money! Andrew something?

    xx

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  36. I've just found your blog and felt compelled to write a comment after reading this post that very much summed me up. I feel exactly the same worries and anxieties as you, and by the amount of comments, many other people. It was so nice and refreshing to read such an open and honest post. Thank you for writing this.
    Laura xx

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  37. I am a constant worrier, the ambulance thing I totally get if I hear sirens I automatically think the worse, all my family are real bad worriers, when I leave the house I have panics wether I've turned ovens off etc and once had a proper tizz because I thought I had left my ghds

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    1. On and was imagining a fire and other horrible thoughts, you. Are definitely not alone in that aspect. I wish you all the luck in conquering your demons xxx

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  38. Oh yes, I can relate! I'm a worrier. I became quite depressed a while back and consequently went on an anti-depressant. Turns out, it's also anti-anxiety (as the two can go hand in hand). I am delighted to say that it has helped me so incredibly much. I've done some therapy, I've spent time learning to trust God more. I'm a Christian, and I would have told you that I trusted God. This long hard journey I have walked, with him by my side right there with me in the trenches, I've learned so much. While I don't want to be so depressed again I have to say the life lessons I've learned have been worth it. So worth it. I like the "me" I am becoming. Blessings to you on your journey!

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  39. Hi Rosie! This post really resonated with me. I've been a reader of your blog for ages but always felt too shy to comment before. I absolutely and wholeheartedly understand how you've been feeling, I've experienced anxiety (in varying degrees) throughout my life and have decided that this is the year that I'm going to make that change. I'm also reading The Power of Now and it's quite something isn't it! I really enjoyed 'Illusions' by Richard Bach too. Anyway, I just wanted to say that you're not on your own with this, there are so many of us in a similar boat (and that I really love your blog). Take care, here's hoping for a wonderful 2014 for you and yours. X

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  40. I've just found your blog and I have to say, What a lovely honest post!
    We have gone through so many similar things. I have reoccurring dreams about a person who doesn't talk to me anymore and I just wish she'd get out of my head. I worry over the silliest things too and I'm the same when I wake up before my son I have to go in and make sure nothings happened to him in the night.
    I hope writing this post helped you get everything out and you have a much more positive year. I found writing my post really helped me feel more positive and much stronger as a person, feel free to have a read and let me know your thoughts, it always nice to hear from someone who can relate.

    Happy New Year!

    Jenn | Photo-Jenn-ic

    x

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  41. Just discovered your blog after hacking the interface at BlogLovin to show me the popular "personal" blogs (why on earth they hide them is anybody's guess). Love what I have read so far, and looking forward to reading more - subscribing straight away.

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  42. There is so much in this post that I can identify with - worrying about family members, bad blood between friends getting me down - but I just wanted to say it's great that you're finding ways to deal with it. My faith really helps me. I don't know where I'd be without it xx

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  43. This is such an interesting post with some great ideas. I wouldn't say I worry like you do, rather torture myself with what I'm not achieving and how I'm not good enough to get where I want to. I really want to see some big changes in 2014, mainly career-wise, but there's a constant list of things I want to improve. Regular blogging, interaction with other bloggers etc I also want to try to become happier with myself generally, physically and mentally, because like I said, I am hard on myself a lot. Physically, I remind myself the most that my body works and I am not ill in any way, which is always the most important thing. It does feel like a huge list at times, which to me becomes daunting and instead of tackling it, I shy away completely.

    Your whale dream reminded me of a book I had as a child called The Whale's Song by Dyan Sheldon. It's beautiful, if you get a chance take a look at it. Hannah x

    Eve Wanted a Wardrobe

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