Outfits

Outfits
Outfits

Adventures

Adventures
Adventures

Writing

Writing
Writing

Things I have and haven't done

One of the things I most wish I could change about myself is my sense of guilt, or the fact that I constantly beat myself up about things I have or haven't done.  Sometimes it's having bought something I didn't need, sometimes it's diet and exercise related (in the long run, no chocolate bar is worth how cross I get at myself for eating it) but often it's not having had a chance to tick things off my to do list - little chores like tidying and cleaning the house, eBaying clothes, replying to emails or calling the Tax Office etc.  Our house needs so much work (both DIY, and just general upkeep) that I almost never sit and watch TV or read because the moment I plonk myself down I spy out of the corner of my eye a pile of washing that needs doing or a spot that needs cleaning, or the dishwasher beeps at me to tell me it's ready to be unloaded.  My inability to relax when there's mess or when there's other things that need doing is bad enough, but lately the things I do enjoy doing - writing letters, tackling mini sewing projects, blogging, and even just seeing or chatting to friends, seem to be getting the same treatment.

Lately work has been so busy that I've had several evenings when I've worked a really long, tiring day and when I get home all I want to do is get in my pajamas and have an early night.  But as I lie there I start thinking 'I really should have blogged tonight...', or 'I promised so-and-so I'd reply to their letter this week'.  With being part of an on call rota at work, trying to spend weekends here and there with family, trying to get away in the camper van now and then and just general social engagements, my weekends tend to get filled up quite far in advance.  Back in early July a friend asked me when I was next free at the weekend to meet up and I had to tell her October! August and September are/have been really busy due to a festival, weddings, hen dos, my birthday, work and our holiday in Florida but it seems a bit ridiculous to not be able to see a friend until 10 weeks down the line.  I feel terrible about this and am constantly beating myself up for being a bad friend.  When I go through stages where I'm particularly busy (some weeks if I'm on call with work I can work a normal day and then come home and be working all evening, for example), I forget to reply to text messages or don't get a chance to return calls and I worry sometimes that one day people will just get fed up of me being sporadically rubbish.  Seriously, I should set up a template text message that starts 'Sorry it took me so long to reply, I've been so busy lately..." as all of mine seems to start with that lately.
credit: flickr.com
I don't know whether I need to get better at time management, stop beating myself up about things or drop some of the less important things in my life.  But I do know that I hate the fact that all of my hobbies and favourite things to do seem to be entering the realm of the to-do list; just another thing I beat myself up for not doing.  I started blogging as a creative outlet, somewhere to write about things I'd done, and things I like.  I'm guessing that's the same for a lot of us.  For the majority of us, blogging is a hobby... and yet, raise your hand if you've ever felt guilty for not doing it often enough? I lose count of the amount of times where people begin a post with an apology for having a few days off from their blog, or not having a chance to read others'.  And yet, it's not a job, we don't owe anyone regular, scheduled blog posts, and most importantly... here's the truth - no-one is going to stop reading your blog if you neglect it now and then.

I wish I could end this post with a nugget of knowledge or a snappy bit of advice but the truth is I don't have the answer.  I feel like I need a weekend to hide in bed with my Kindle and a bag of maltesers.  Maybe I'll schedule one in in October....


15 comments

  1. I often feel guilty for not blogging. Being relatively new I know that I have to devote a lot of time to my blog to get it up and running and if I don't then I feel like I've somehow let myself down or broken some sort of promise I made to myself.

    But I guess we all have to accept that sometimes life just gets in the way. As we get older, work and chores and bills and various responsibilities seem to take up the time we used to spend doing 'fun stuff'. Depressing but true.

    I think your hibernation weekend seems like a great idea. Sometimes it's nice just to curl up and take stock :) xxx

    ReplyDelete
  2. Awww sweetie don't beat yourself up about it! :)
    We're all the same, and friends and family understand that. I wish I had more time to blog, see friends, do exciting stuff. But when I come home from work, I'm straight in my jammies, and I lazy about!!
    By the time I get a chance to look at the clock, it's already near bedtime!!

    x x x

    ReplyDelete
  3. I know exactly what you mean - there's always something more to be done! Unfortunately it can't be helped but I suppose it makes you enjoy the periods where you've got a lot of time to spend how you really want to spend it even more x

    ReplyDelete
  4. Rosie, Rosie, Rosie. THIS IS NOT GOOD! If you carry on not doing the things you enjoying doing, FOR YOU, then you;ll start to burn out and all those things that you dont enjoy doing will frustrate you further and start spilling into your working life. The best thing I can recommend is to a) Not set yourself so many goals or such big goals, this should stop you putting so much pressure on yourself and in turn leading to guilt. b) Perhaps set up a more formal rota and change the way you manage your chores, eg does both the laundry AND dishwasher etc need doing on the same day? Perhaps write a list of the chores you have to do in a week, spread them out more evenly between your plans and small things you enjoy doing. Lastly, try to remember that some weeks/days we aren't able to do exactly what we'd like to do, whether it's because of work or because of tiredness, just try to promise yourself that youll make time "for you" the next day, in some way or another.


    Try not to be too hard on yourself re friends etc, if theyre real friends they will understand, and you shouldnt have to see each other regularly to maintain that, as long as perhaps you give them some hint you care, eg a short hope you're okay or snail mail (perhaps written on your lunch break?). xxxxxx

    ReplyDelete
  5. Oh sweet jesus, THIS. every freaking day this, I get home from work and think I really should have replied to that last email that popped a second before I hit shutdown, the load of washing that I really ought to have pushed through this afternoon but is going to have wait until the weekend, the ironing I've let mount up or the phone call to needy relative who will only call me incessantly if I don't call them, that I forgot to call and have screen 3 messages from so far....

    But ultimately what it comes down to is this. The real world- it's a beast. But it's a beast that can be tamed. Sometimes the overwhelmed feeling can be a good point to reassess your life- what's truly important, which hobbies have become too much of a chore to be enjoyable, and which ones are worth a rejig to fit them into your life rather than you fitting into them. And working out how to make it all work, whether it's lists, whether it's working out that someone else has to pull more weight, or you need to work a bit harder at keeping a routine.

    The only way I've been able to keep things in check is to develop a routine, I know I always try and get the mid week ironing done on a Wednesday night, but that also leaves me time to have a bit of a blog read session afterwards, I know that I can jiggle that with a Tuesday or a Thursday if I want to switch my run because of whether, I know that making my lunch the night before means I get an extra half hour in bed because our kitchen is such a battlefield in the morning, I know that if I clean through the bathroom every couple of days I don't have to spend an hour doing it when I already need to hoover and mop through at the weekend, and I also realised that it was time to get rid of some of my hardcore sewing stuff, because ultimately I'm only going to have time to make something every so often, and it would be better to purchase what I need or fancy when I get to it than always 'just keeping' bits and pieces.

    Hope you find the balance querida mia.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I think it's the same for everyone and all you can do is do what you can without stretching yourself too far! X

    ReplyDelete
  7. Ugh, I hate that feeling. I find it can be helpful to write 'Done' lists rather than 'To Do' lists. When I'm feeling like it's all piling on top of my I write a list of all the things I've achieved that day (even the silly little things!) so I can give myself a bit of a break! xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  8. Oh Rosie! This post really resonated with me today. Having started my new role at work I just don't have the time I used to, and I have been feeling guilty about not blogging/commenting/texting people etc etc. These aren't things we should get wound up about!
    I hope you find a way to get some down time, but please don't quit blogging because I'd be gutted if you went away =)
    xx

    ReplyDelete
  9. I feel like this all the time, it is very hard.... I wish I knew the answer as well!! Maybe Benard's watch?axx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You just saved me an hour of my life because I was going to write a post just like this! I have so much going on in the next few months I have to tell people I can see them in mid Septmeber, how crazy is that? I worry that all my commitments will mean I end up a spinster!! haha I'm being over dramatic now... xx

      Delete
  10. i always feel guilty why i haven't bought something then it goes out of stock, but then i ask myself why i do that and i never have an answer!

    hope you can sort through all of it :)

    from helen at www.thelovecatsinc.com // @thelovecatsinc

    ps. enter my new international jewellery/accessory giveaway to win one of two prizes!

    ReplyDelete
  11. Ahh I totally feel your pain, particularly on the house jobs note, I spend half my life feeling guilty that the washing is piled on the dining table, that the glossing hasn't been finished yet...everything really! If I ever find the answer to extra spare time I'll be sure to let yo know :)

    ReplyDelete
  12. As you know I'm exactly the same and I have had to learn to pace myself. i.e. yes, I want to paint the skirting boards in the whole house but doing them all at once will drive me insane so I'll do one room per month or whatever.

    And blogging isn't a job so that has to come last on my list but I fit it in when I can.

    I have found writing a small, manageable "to do" list on the kitchen blackboard helps. I get all of my daily jobs done without feeling too overwhelmed by everything.
    x

    ReplyDelete
  13. I completely relate to everything you are saying here missus :( I guess the only way I deal with it is to write lots of lists, getting it all 'out' of my head and onto paper seems to help a bit. Being diligent and organised is what has gotten us to where we are in our lives, our jobs etc, and is a recipe for success but also tends to punish us on a more personal level. If you ever find the happy medium, let me know! xxx

    ReplyDelete
  14. I'm exactly the same as you! I am constantly beating myself up about things I've done or haven't done. We need to remember that we only have one life and we shouldn't waste it feeling guilty. In the long run a blog is not really important, its not life threatening, no one is going to die if you don't do it. It's the same for a lot of things. The main things that matter are happiness, family, love and friendships. Take care XxxX http://thesecondhandrose.blogspot.co.uk

    ReplyDelete

Thank you in advance for your lovely comments, they mean the world to me! If you have a question or want to get in touch, tweet me at @rosieoutlook.