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Change is good

Over the last few months I have spent a great deal of time thinking about change.  Everyone has a different attitude to change, whether it be fearing change - fearing that you will end up outside of your comfort zone and not be able to handle it, or embracing and actively encouraging change - people that feel stagnant or stuck in a rut if they do something for too long.

We experience a high rate of change between the ages of 18 to about 30 - a lot of it uncomfortable change that we feel is being forced upon us - leaving college and university and having to find a job, relationships forming and then breaking up, moving out of home and renting (or buying) for the first time, maybe moving away, making friends and losing friends.  I sometimes feel like life is a little bit like that film 'Sliding Doors' - every time you make a decision you are standing at a metaphorical crossroads, and the path you choose ultimately affects the path you take in life.  Even decisions that might seem insignificant at the time we can realise in hindsight completely changed our lives.

Because I work in the civil service in a corporate communications job I've been on a few change communications courses lately to learn how best to communicate changes to people in the workplace.  What I learnt is that, despite the fact that most people have a fear of change, actually, human beings are the most adaptable to change of all species on the planet.  We have learnt to live in a variety of climates (from the coldest to the hottest) in the harshest of conditions, and when pushed to the brink we have proved that we can adapt.

One thing that I have learnt through experience is that change isn't something you can hide from or avoid.  For example, a few months ago I made the decision to move out of Southampton city centre to a house I bought with my other half about 25 miles away.  This was a difficult decision - meaning I would live 25 miles away from all of my friends, and 45 miles from my parents.  Naturally the biggest push was the ability to live with my boyfriend and start our lives together, and the sacrifice of living so far from all my best friends was a tough pill to swallow - but we moved, and I have no regrets.  Over the last few weeks I found out that two of my closest friends are now moving away - one to America, and one to Aberdeen.  It made me realise that however you try and avoid change, you are not necessarily in control of all of the factors that make it up.  Imagine if I'd decided to stay and Southampton - to try and cling on to my old life. They would have moved anyway, and I would have been left with only a couple of friends who live there (and they too, will surely eventually move on).



I read a book in college called 'The McDonaldization of Society', which dictates that humans have begun to rely more on a few various qualities in life than they ever have before.  One of these qualities is predictability - meaning that more than ever people have started to structure their lives so that there is as little surprise and differentness as possible.  It also suggests that people would rather do something they know is average than take a chance on something that could pay off.  That's why McDonalds is so popular - it may be rubbish food, but you know exactly what you're getting.

I guess the message in this post is for people to stop being so afraid of change (I have to regularly tell myself to do this too).  Life is too short to work a job that makes you unhappy, or to stay tied to a city you hate because you have friends there you've had for years.  Doing things because you've always done them is no excuse to carry on doing them.  Take risks, travel, try new things, and push yourself out of your comfort zone.  Don't cling to old memories and stop yourself from forming new ones.  Nothing, nothing, is permanent.

21 comments

  1. This is such an amazing post. I'm constantly thinking about change too, and I think I'm hitting the stage where I need to focus on careers, moving out, relationships etc. and it is always scary. My boyfriend lives near Portsmouth and I live in London and talking about where to live scares us both as ultimately one, or both, of us will be leaving our comfort 'area'. I think we need to learn to embrace change more and enjoy it, rather than hold back and waste a good opportunity. Amazing amazing post. :)

    xo

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  2. This post really struck a chord, I'm just finishing up my degree and am now beginning to realise change is somewhat inevitable! The prospect of a new job and a new city are scaring the bejeesus out of me but your post has really put that into perspective :) x

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  3. I love this post, I think I need to embrace change more, and enjoy the unknown rather than living my life being very safe! xxx

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  4. Loved this rosie, what a fabtastic post xxxxx

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  5. Thanks for this Rosie, it's SO true! Especially the bit about not being on control of a lot of things, and having to accept that. I know a lot of people trying to control things and keep them how they are, yet ultimately things will happen in their lives that they cant control. It's about coming to terms with that, and finding strategies to deal with them. xxx

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  6. thank you so much, somehow this post was exactly what I needed right now, I have a difficult decision to make and this has really helped me to take everything about it into consideration. You probably had no idea that by writing this post you'd help me so much but thank you, it really has helped :) xxx

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  7. Awesome post, which I can really relate to at the moment. You've inspired me to stop being such a scaredy cat and look at change as a good thing :) xx

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  8. I agree completely! Most of the time those that don't accept change are miserable because change is inevitable in life, and imperative for the future! Therefore not accepting it equals unhappiness! Well that's my philosophy anyway! :)

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  9. I really enjoyed this post Rosie (: Especially as I'm trying to imagine myself moving out and finding a job after Uni. I definitely need to learn to move on and start embracing change a little more. xxxx

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  10. What an inspiring post. I love change myself. When I was 21 I moved to a new country where I didn't know anyone and now I dream of moving to Italy, just wondering how to go about that one. I think you are spot on when you say that even when you don't change things around you will - that is perhaps the worst. Now that I have been in the UK for almost 6 years a lot of my friends who I met in the hostel where I first stayed have moved away - and that is hard.

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  11. I hate change!!! thank you for a lovely little post!!! got me thinking!! have a lovely day xx

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  12. I'm currently in a place where I'm a year away from graduating and I can't stop thinking about it, which is ridiculous. I need to sit back and enjoy my final year!

    Great post :)

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  13. Thankyou Rosie I love this post . It really made me think ! Ive just moved 300 miles away from my friends and family with the boyfriend and im still adjusting ! xx

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  14. Thank you!
    I love this post.
    I'm at major crossroads in my life right now. I'm thinking about moving abroad...thank you for this post.

    Ayeisha
    x

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  15. Rooooossssiiiieee. My wee heart needed to read this post right now. Thank you so much, this was wonderful. And very reassuring. Because I often let the 'fear of striking out stop me from playing the game'. I wish I could keep up the positive mentality 100% of the time, but so much in this life scares me I guess we automatically assume that change is a bad thing. When really, it can be the best thing for us. Love you long time ♥ xx

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  16. amazing post, so true. I think I'm pretty scared of change, but believe if you take a chance it more often than less pays off. That doesn't make it less scary though!

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  17. Very nice post indeed. I'm always changing. The only thing I don't like about is peoples comments on it. Like: "Your wearing makeup?" or "You cut off all your hair?" The hair one gets me every time. Cuz I cut it all off all the time. I grow it out really long and then I'll get sick of it and get a pixie cut. But yet every time people freak out. I've decided to start wearing skirts and dresses again and everyone has been asking me about it. They funny thing is threw HS till I was about 22 I didn't wear jeans at all. Slacks or a skirt. I started wearing jeans 24/7 because I got a job at Home Depot. Jeans were required to wear. I just got used to it. Now I want to go back to my old self and everyone is freaking out about it. The thing I find interesting is no one said anything when I started wearing jeans.

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  18. This is a fantastic post. I'm nearing the end of my high school education, and whilst I'm off to uni next year, it will be a huge change. New routine, new friends, getting ready to move out. I'm scared, but this actually made me feel better. Thanks :)

    xx

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  19. This is a great post. I actually read it the other day on my phone, but it's a pain in the ass trying to reply using it, so I made a note to make sure I came back to comment.
    First of all, well done you for making the move out of Southampton - a brave decision and a huge change!
    I'm 30 now and I guess I've made most of the big changes in my life - left home, started/finished uni, got a career job, own home, married and settled down. Every one of those things was scary and incredibly exciting all at the same time. However, once you've done all of those, bar having kids, there's not really much left change. I found this concept way more scary!

    Since doing all of the above, I've lost 3.5 stone in weight, changed my hair colour/style countless times and got 7 BIG tattoos. I crave change - I need it.

    Making a change to your life, no matter how or small - it might just be swapping your morning biscuit for a piece of fruit - makes you FEEL better. It gives you such a sense of achievement. I couldn't live without change - bring it on!

    I hope your post has inspired lots of people to just take the first step.

    xx

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  20. I loved reading your post :)

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  21. Love this post, so inspirational to me right now! x

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Thank you in advance for your lovely comments, they mean the world to me! If you have a question or want to get in touch, tweet me at @rosieoutlook.